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2021-07-08 11:56![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
razielimI've been posting art every day for more than a few months now as well as maintaining a regular predictable weekly Patreon posting schedule, which feels crazy.
My big challenge recently is to try to finish the WIP I started last year satisfactorily. I'm good at short fic, and everyone gets really into my longer fics I've tried to write over the last few years. From all the feedback I've gotten, I don't seem to have a lot of trouble hooking people, entertaining my audience, or writing sympathetic characters. But I've definitely had commenters say that my endings on those are rushed or not satisfying in other ways. And my betas tried to spare my feelings, but I could sense that they agreed with me that I was just squeezing those out to be done without any actual understanding of what I was supposed to be doing to make it pay off. When I tried to write a novel, I could pretty much tell it was the same issue without even getting anyone to read the whole thing.
So I think I understand now, but before I launch into another attempt of writing a novel, I'd like to apply my theory to this fic, where all the developments are already laid out, I can't improve them in any way, and I just have to do the best with what I've got. I think that's a very apt challenge. It isolates the problem and makes me work on only that part. It would be very easy to abandon the fic and move on, but that I think would be another way to just avoid or delay the hard part.
My new theory of writing endings is actually very grounded in my previous observation that writing code is very similar to writing fiction. Except now I'm flipping that around and thinking - Actually, writing fiction is very similar to writing code. Set out all your brackets before you fill in the details of how the actual steps unfold, and make sure they all close.
I guess what I've ultimately decided is that being a "pantser" for fun is one thing. And being a "pantser" who successfully writes and sells books is another thing. But if you're a pantser who would like to write and sell books rather than just have fun, but haven't yet managed to do so, that's a whole different thing, and it's time to learn how to plan enough for your pantsing to shine better. And vice versa, I guess, for planners.
It's hard to both paint and write in one day, which is why i've decided to also learn bass in the next couple months. In my experience of learning to make a full painting a day, if you can't quite manage to do both A and B in one day, try instead to do A, B, and C. You might go crazy for a bit, and you might drop C, but A and B will sort of suck in their stomachs to squeeze in. When I was up late painting and still getting up at 6 to start the next one, I was so sleep deprived and burned out and kept thinking "God this is so unsustainable. I need to be able to finish a painting by 2pm, 5pm at the latest." And I couldn't do it! It was impossible! What made it possible was being like "Ok, I'm actually going to make paintings in 3 hours each, so I can finish two paintings by 2pm." It was insane but it worked. I can now paint one to two paintings by 2pm if I start at 7am! Versus starting at 7am and completing only one painting by 10pm.
I did have a recurrence of the concussion pain last August around the anniversary of the injury and was unable to paint or read - I think the pain/nausea is actually triggered by memories or situations which remind me of that time, but I'm optimistic about having healed my brain a lot in the last year through conscious positive self-talk and through intensive learning of new skills. We'll see if it recurs again, but I have a list of successful strategies in my arsenal! Some of my verbal skills I feel aren't back to 100% yet - I'm still having trouble with vocabulary recall and self-expression, but it's a lot less to trigger anger/irritability and just feels like a stubborn mental block. I hope the more I write and take my time finding my words, the smoother it'll get. :)
My big challenge recently is to try to finish the WIP I started last year satisfactorily. I'm good at short fic, and everyone gets really into my longer fics I've tried to write over the last few years. From all the feedback I've gotten, I don't seem to have a lot of trouble hooking people, entertaining my audience, or writing sympathetic characters. But I've definitely had commenters say that my endings on those are rushed or not satisfying in other ways. And my betas tried to spare my feelings, but I could sense that they agreed with me that I was just squeezing those out to be done without any actual understanding of what I was supposed to be doing to make it pay off. When I tried to write a novel, I could pretty much tell it was the same issue without even getting anyone to read the whole thing.
So I think I understand now, but before I launch into another attempt of writing a novel, I'd like to apply my theory to this fic, where all the developments are already laid out, I can't improve them in any way, and I just have to do the best with what I've got. I think that's a very apt challenge. It isolates the problem and makes me work on only that part. It would be very easy to abandon the fic and move on, but that I think would be another way to just avoid or delay the hard part.
My new theory of writing endings is actually very grounded in my previous observation that writing code is very similar to writing fiction. Except now I'm flipping that around and thinking - Actually, writing fiction is very similar to writing code. Set out all your brackets before you fill in the details of how the actual steps unfold, and make sure they all close.
I guess what I've ultimately decided is that being a "pantser" for fun is one thing. And being a "pantser" who successfully writes and sells books is another thing. But if you're a pantser who would like to write and sell books rather than just have fun, but haven't yet managed to do so, that's a whole different thing, and it's time to learn how to plan enough for your pantsing to shine better. And vice versa, I guess, for planners.
It's hard to both paint and write in one day, which is why i've decided to also learn bass in the next couple months. In my experience of learning to make a full painting a day, if you can't quite manage to do both A and B in one day, try instead to do A, B, and C. You might go crazy for a bit, and you might drop C, but A and B will sort of suck in their stomachs to squeeze in. When I was up late painting and still getting up at 6 to start the next one, I was so sleep deprived and burned out and kept thinking "God this is so unsustainable. I need to be able to finish a painting by 2pm, 5pm at the latest." And I couldn't do it! It was impossible! What made it possible was being like "Ok, I'm actually going to make paintings in 3 hours each, so I can finish two paintings by 2pm." It was insane but it worked. I can now paint one to two paintings by 2pm if I start at 7am! Versus starting at 7am and completing only one painting by 10pm.
I did have a recurrence of the concussion pain last August around the anniversary of the injury and was unable to paint or read - I think the pain/nausea is actually triggered by memories or situations which remind me of that time, but I'm optimistic about having healed my brain a lot in the last year through conscious positive self-talk and through intensive learning of new skills. We'll see if it recurs again, but I have a list of successful strategies in my arsenal! Some of my verbal skills I feel aren't back to 100% yet - I'm still having trouble with vocabulary recall and self-expression, but it's a lot less to trigger anger/irritability and just feels like a stubborn mental block. I hope the more I write and take my time finding my words, the smoother it'll get. :)
