Over time, we became less human and more... divine.

When will my mobile browser "dr" autofill come back from the war? ("War": It currently autofills to the Dracula Daily site, from all the times I checked last year's archive to see when the next update will be, as well as backreading some entries when my email client fucked up.) Soon you'll be top dog again, Dreamwidth, soon.

I was thinking while browsing the users that show up in the Batfam/Batman interests page and again finding the usual amount of people actively posting on the topic (0-1) that MAN I filled out a LOT of interests on my profile in the hopes that it would help me connect better, but perhaps I would be better off paring it down to only those that I would foam at the mouth to talk or fool around about. You know, so that anyone who ended up on my journal over a mutual interest would actually see that interest in action. But when I went to my profile, I just started foaming at the mouth thinking about all the hypothetical conversations I COULD be having about those topics, even if I'm currently not, and perhaps never actually have before, so I just left it all alone as is. 😂

Maybe I should go through as a posting theme/prompt list and just write up or doodle conversation starters on everything in my interests list. Everyone else will be doing Snowflake in January (me too tho honestly) and I'll just be having imaginary conversations with myself about *throws dart* about how AGENT COOPER SHOULDN'T HAVE ENTERED THE LODGE AT THE END OF SEASON 2, AND THIS WAS OBVIOUS TO ANYOBE WHO HAD BEEN PAYING ATTENTION AHHH. *the mouth foaming begins*

After reading about TheoryofFicGate earlier, I was reminded of my own mini controversy on Ao3 back in 2016. Went back to read all the comments, and reading them, realized it was finally time to also delete all the comments. Let them go. I've been holding on to the hurt of that for a while now.

Since I've been poking around other people's journals so much in the past week, looking to meet new people, I've noticed how many people have put up statements granting blanket permission to make fanworks of their fanworks. Never seen these statements of Ao3 or tumblr, but they seen to abound on DW.

I don't know where I fall on that issue. I'm reading Fanlore's entry on Recursive Fanfiction (aka fic of fic) and thinking "Right, that's normal and fun." I do think it's normal and fun to have people spin off from one another! But that page talks a lot about permission from the fic author and building a story within their world. There's a related page, Unauthorized Sequel, and that hits closer to what had happened to me. Someone took my tragic unrequited noncon story and made a happy lovey dovey ending epilogue.

I think I'd be a lot less hurt if it happened again today. I'm in a better place mentally; I'm also just less attached to my writing and don't use it to self-medicate myself with serotonin as I did at the time. I certainly worry that the author might have never dared to write anything ever again after all the drama that happened in the comments as other people got involved. Should I have stepped in for them more, and my own beef with their actions prevented me from doing the right thing? Maybe. Whatever the right thing to do back then had been, I also just don't think I'd ever give blanket permission for fic of fic after that experience. I know what could shake out of that tree, and I don't want to invite that upon my head.

It's not that I'm entirely opposed to fic of fic in general - I've since then had people write fics that were placed within the AUs I created, and I don't remember if they even asked for permission and I don't particularly care. I just checked out the fic summaries when I was notified, nodded, and moved on with my life. I've since had fanart of my fics and fic of my fanart, which I've delighted in.

All that stuff is just a whole different experience from that one fluff epilogue.

I don't know, I wonder.

I wonder how people who give blanket permissions would perceive such a sequel/epilogue if it fell into their comments one day. Would it just be par for the course, or is that something that others also don't typically expect if they haven't witnessed it or heard about it before? Does a more truly laisez-faire mindset reign in DW culture?

I would want the chance to be asked permission to write an epilogue, and to say, "Sure, but absolutely do not share it with me."

Maybe I'm more affected by the more recent/tumblr way of thinking in fandom than I realize, way too sensitive about something I'm putting out publicly, even if I remember a time before some of the more modern fandom ideas became became popular rhetoric and think myself above such sensitivities.

Reminds me of the Salvador Dali quote, "Do not strive to be a modern artist: it's the one thing, unfortunately, you can't help being."

There's so much that can be found on Fanlore about past fandom culture and kerfuffles, but the thing is that ultimately we live in the now and it affects us. We have only the cultures we have now. I don't think I can read on Fanlore about how it was normal to write and share sequels for a fic you read in a Star Trek zine without asking permission and be magically more okay with that happening to me on my Ao3 comment section. That's not how feelings work.

I can however, get plenty of sleep and do daily yoga, thereby slowly growing to be more okay with everything in general, so I guess it's time to pack it up and head out.