Gettin' Buff & Beefy
2022-03-17 14:14![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
razielimI'm so sick and tired of drawing nudes of myself. Every day I sit down and I draw these fucking nudes and I'm just so tired of them. I even broke my "Always start working at 8:00" rule today. And the "No internet before work" rule. And skipped yoga. And skipped meditation. About the only thing I haven't fucked up (yet) today is my 36h fast I had scheduled.
And yet (and yet!!), just as this morning I thought, "I'm such a fucking idiot, I should have started working on the studies for the principal figures first. The background characters can fucking just be disfigured gremlins, who cares? Why did you start working on the figures in the file name order? Remember, Gabriel?? 'Make things as fun as possible'? Remember?? The whole, 'work around having ADHD' schtick? Find a way! FUN! FUN, YOU MORON," when I finally sat down to draw, guess what was coming out more effortless, simplified, and stylized, almost like I'd learned something over the last few days of suffering? Yeah, the fucking studies.
There's a good chance if I'd done the principal figures first, I would have come to loathe them and undermined the whole entire goddamn project.
Sometimes, doing things the infuriatingly difficult way pays off. I hate it.
3.5 done... 16.5 to go. Fucking just throw me off a cliff already. My drawing muscles are going to be so buff and glorious after this, and I'm absolutely furious.
And yet (and yet!!), just as this morning I thought, "I'm such a fucking idiot, I should have started working on the studies for the principal figures first. The background characters can fucking just be disfigured gremlins, who cares? Why did you start working on the figures in the file name order? Remember, Gabriel?? 'Make things as fun as possible'? Remember?? The whole, 'work around having ADHD' schtick? Find a way! FUN! FUN, YOU MORON," when I finally sat down to draw, guess what was coming out more effortless, simplified, and stylized, almost like I'd learned something over the last few days of suffering? Yeah, the fucking studies.
There's a good chance if I'd done the principal figures first, I would have come to loathe them and undermined the whole entire goddamn project.
Sometimes, doing things the infuriatingly difficult way pays off. I hate it.
3.5 done... 16.5 to go. Fucking just throw me off a cliff already. My drawing muscles are going to be so buff and glorious after this, and I'm absolutely furious.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-17 19:58 (UTC)Good luck with your schedules, and don't beat yourself up over not meeting every single goal every day.
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Date: 2022-03-17 21:25 (UTC)I'm not beating myself up! I just want to run away ;_;
All this hard work is beating ME up!
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Date: 2022-03-17 21:43 (UTC)Sounds like a plan! XD
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Date: 2022-03-17 20:42 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-17 21:29 (UTC)It's funny that you can stop in your tracks, facepalm (okay, fine, I suppose facepalming counts as willfully smacking yourself in the face), thinking you're daft for not doing things differently, and then a little while later realize that, no, everything has been done exactly as it should have been, you just don't like it because growing is painful.
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Date: 2022-03-18 11:04 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-18 12:56 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-19 22:01 (UTC)Sometimes, doing things the infuriatingly difficult way pays off. I hate it.
It seems so goddamn unfair. Like, just let me have it the easy way. Just let me, dagnabit!
no subject
Date: 2022-03-29 19:30 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-31 22:11 (UTC)