Fandom Snowflake Challenge #4: Wishlist

I had... a restorative weekend. Meditated for ten hours total over three days, and another hour and a half this morning. Combined with my weekly 36 hour fast, the flavors, textures, and smells of the things I ate today were... a religious experience. I guess I'm adding a 1-hour meditation to my daily schedule from now on because this feeling is exactly what I hoped to attain and foster in January.

Anyway, FSC #4 - "In your own space, make a list of things that you wish existed in fandom or elsewhere, and/or that you'd like someone to create or do for you."

This isn't a list of things that are fillable, just... wishes.

• A yearly RaziKain zine or big bang. I don't want to organize it (that would be a disaster), I want it to exist, fully formed, waiting for me to participate.
• ....god, is that really all I want? That might be the only thing on this list. Uh...
• I want someone to see a whole fest of really pretty Raziel porn and pinups. I don't want to have to do it all myself haha.
• Sigh... yeah, I give up.
• Wait, no, I want a BruJay zine/bb too!! *covers face and cackles* god, this is embarrassing...
• Rhaegar/Jaime also comes to mind, so I guess all my wishes boil down to - I wish the small ships I care for so much were big enough to merit events. That's it.

I'm not used to... voicing... wishes. *sits here consumed with blush*

Fandom Snowflake Challenge #5: Ideas

SFC #5 - "In your own space, talk about an idea you wish you had the time / talent / energy to do."

Well, I hope I can make it through this post with less embarrassment. I like to think I'm a lot better at stating things I simply intend rather than things I fancifully wish for.

• Ironically, haha, yes I know I wished in my previous post for a RaziKain zine to be organized amongst a whole bunch of fans, hilarious, but it's very much on my backburner to just create a whole damn R/K zine myself. Write 5-15 oneshots, polish up a really nice cover, make a few painted pieces and several monochrome drawings, and format it really nicely. I want that thing to exist. It would be a cool thing. But other things always get prioritized above it, unfortunately.
• Same but for other ships - BruJay, JaimeRhaegar, LaurentAuguste. I'm a simple man.
• Something I've been "working on" indefinitely but can't ever carve out a chunk of time for meaningful progress on is writing a short handbook along the lines of "Illustration for ADHD" which would draw a lot on the Patreon essays I've written over the years, but tie it all together with a meaningful progression, more motivational and reassuring parts. Something that I would have loved to have found and read, say, in high school, before giving up my love of drawing to go pursue an ill-fated CS degree. Basically a book that says "Wondering why your art sucks? These are the things you don't know, A, B, and C, stop listening to 'art teachers' in 'art classes' that make you do a bunch of still-lifes, spend more time copying art you like, and finally here is your crash course on why you still suck at backgrounds despite 'understanding' how perspective works. Above all, remember to spend more time having fun with illustration than studying it, because you're not neurotypical so stop expecting to magically wake up a workhorse tomorrow." I'd really love to have the time and confidence to pare all my material down to the bare essentials and organize it properly. For now, backburner.
• Obviously, I also have a couple more fantasy books I'd like to write. One is a bit of a harem heist and another is a bit of a rival royals romance. Alas, like everything, time.

I think if I get at least one of those zines, the ADHD Illustrator book, and some more novels complete within the next five years, I'm actually doing okay.