2022-03-17

razielim: kyle rayner from my lube ad poster (Default)
I'm so sick and tired of drawing nudes of myself. Every day I sit down and I draw these fucking nudes and I'm just so tired of them. I even broke my "Always start working at 8:00" rule today. And the "No internet before work" rule. And skipped yoga. And skipped meditation. About the only thing I haven't fucked up (yet) today is my 36h fast I had scheduled.

And yet (and yet!!), just as this morning I thought, "I'm such a fucking idiot, I should have started working on the studies for the principal figures first. The background characters can fucking just be disfigured gremlins, who cares? Why did you start working on the figures in the file name order? Remember, Gabriel?? 'Make things as fun as possible'? Remember?? The whole, 'work around having ADHD' schtick? Find a way! FUN! FUN, YOU MORON," when I finally sat down to draw, guess what was coming out more effortless, simplified, and stylized, almost like I'd learned something over the last few days of suffering? Yeah, the fucking studies.

There's a good chance if I'd done the principal figures first, I would have come to loathe them and undermined the whole entire goddamn project.

Sometimes, doing things the infuriatingly difficult way pays off. I hate it.

3.5 done... 16.5 to go. Fucking just throw me off a cliff already. My drawing muscles are going to be so buff and glorious after this, and I'm absolutely furious.
razielim: kyle rayner from my lube ad poster (Default)
Remember that time Rodrigo Borgia sold his son Cesare's soul to the devil in exchange for the papacy, and sweet loyal young Cesare had to grow up with a distant father who hated and feared him, and even tried to have him killed? And then Cesare grew up to be unnaturally handsome, charming, and talented and spitefully went on a big murderous campaign to conquer all of Italy, tormenting his father whenever he ran into him in the hallways of the Vatican? Hmmmmm, yeah I have a type.

Oh boy here we go. Raziel, Jason, meet your new brother. He's pretty much exactly like you, except with less patricide/fratricide attempts to his name.

April 2025

M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930