(no subject)
2025-04-07 20:00![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
razielimFriends, family, gremlins. I just got glasses and it feels like taking painkillers for the first time in my life.
No double vision, no weird film over my dominant eye, actual depth perception. The clarity is nice too, but the blurriness when I take them off is so goddamn tolerable that it almost seems a waste to have gone through the trouble. The pain and tiredness without them, however, is on impact. Moment these glasses come off: I'm crippled, I'm in pain, I want to sleep, I want to never do anything ever again, I'm so tired.
I went for a walk and didn't find myself staring at the ground five feet in front of me the whole time! That wasn't the only position that was tolerable and un-exhausting. I felt relaxed. It was actually relaxing again being outside and looking at things.
I am looking directly at the screen. I am reading back what I write as I write, and I don't feel like it's too much effort to bother. Dare I say I can think more clearly? I can imagine actually having the stamina, interest, and mental capacity to start proofreading (or editing, even!) my fics again after writing them. I can open up wikipedia and read, not skim, trying to escape the whole ordeal as fast as possible. I can actually comfortably look at the screen again while typing instead of spacing out in the middle distance between my screen and keyboard. I don't remember the last time any of these things felt comfortable and relaxing.
And this is just the distance prescription, I haven't even gotten my near vision glasses meant for actual computer work yet.
I can practically taste working on my paintings tomorrow and not craving the sweet release of sleep or death after the first hour.
My life has been so much worse than I realized.
No double vision, no weird film over my dominant eye, actual depth perception. The clarity is nice too, but the blurriness when I take them off is so goddamn tolerable that it almost seems a waste to have gone through the trouble. The pain and tiredness without them, however, is on impact. Moment these glasses come off: I'm crippled, I'm in pain, I want to sleep, I want to never do anything ever again, I'm so tired.
I went for a walk and didn't find myself staring at the ground five feet in front of me the whole time! That wasn't the only position that was tolerable and un-exhausting. I felt relaxed. It was actually relaxing again being outside and looking at things.
I am looking directly at the screen. I am reading back what I write as I write, and I don't feel like it's too much effort to bother. Dare I say I can think more clearly? I can imagine actually having the stamina, interest, and mental capacity to start proofreading (or editing, even!) my fics again after writing them. I can open up wikipedia and read, not skim, trying to escape the whole ordeal as fast as possible. I can actually comfortably look at the screen again while typing instead of spacing out in the middle distance between my screen and keyboard. I don't remember the last time any of these things felt comfortable and relaxing.
And this is just the distance prescription, I haven't even gotten my near vision glasses meant for actual computer work yet.
I can practically taste working on my paintings tomorrow and not craving the sweet release of sleep or death after the first hour.
My life has been so much worse than I realized.
no subject
Date: 2025-04-08 05:19 (UTC)